


Of Accidental Stabbings and Other Idiots

by gloriouswhisperstyphoon



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 15:34:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15609444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloriouswhisperstyphoon/pseuds/gloriouswhisperstyphoon
Summary: Treat them and street them. The eternal moral of the hospital system.Otherwise known as: The Medical AU only 2 people asked for, featuring the cheese drawer, handwashing audits and betting pools for days.





	Of Accidental Stabbings and Other Idiots

**Author's Note:**

  * For [marcasite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marcasite/gifts), [melanoradrood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanoradrood/gifts).



Jyn Erso bashed her fist against the wall next to the nurses’ fridge and cursed loudly in at least four different languages.

“Goddamn fridge! Why can’t we have anything that’s not cheese?”

A granola bar suddenly appeared under her nose and she turned around and looked up into the face of one Cassian Andor.

He raised an eyebrow. “Did you forget to eat breakfast again?”

Her traitorous stomach growled in reply to his question.

She resisted the urge to look sheepish. You didn’t get this far into a medical career by regretting things. “Look, I got sidetracked.”

Another judgemental look in reply. 

“Look, I don’t have to wear makeup to rounds anymore so I just slept in, alright?”

Cassian took a deep breath in, and he instinctively smoothed down the front of his dress shirt with his free hand. “Do not remind me about Draven’s dress code policy. Just take the damn granola bar before you put out Saw’s eye with a scalpel the next time that you disagree with his music choices.”

She had just started to chew and she saw some of the tension leaving Cassian’s shoulders when he suddenly asked, “What’s wrong with the cheese drawer anyway?”

Jyn shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe it’s because surgeons are civilised people that have proper meals.”

“And yet you’re here. In the nurses’ quarters of the ED. Again.”

It was hard to talk around the granola bar. Why did Cassian have to like the chewy ones anyway? She forced herself to swallow the entire glob.

“Krennic stole my meal because he was hungry and his meal wasn’t quite enough.”

Cassian gave an answering shrug. Krennic’s idiocy and incapabilities were known intimately to the entire hospital’s staff.

They sat there for a good thirty seconds in complete and comfortable silence before the serenity was shattered by a pager going off. 

Cassian let out a deep beleaguered sigh before he slammed his head into the front of the fridge door.

“I need to go rescue my patient from himself again. See you later?”

Jyn waved him off, her mouth full of food. 

Her stomach growled in hunger after she’d finished her granola bar and she wistfully thought of the takeout still in the fridge that she hadn’t had time to heat up for lunch today. She put her head on the table. Oh well, at least this would be better than napping under the desk again. 

She was woken up from her wonderful slumber by Bodhi nervously calling out to her. “Doctor Erso? Doctor Gerrera wants to see you?”

Jyn blinked the sleep out of her eyes before she allowed Bodhi to lead her out of the break room, patting his shoulder. 

“How’s work treating you? Surgeons still using you as a messenger?”

Bodhi shrugged. “It’s reasonable money. And every day’s interesting.”

She sighed, walking towards theatre, listening to the dulcet strains of Freddie Mercury’s classic Another One Bites The Dust being blasted through the hallways. “You can say that last part again.”

“Oh wait! Jyn! Handwashing audit is happening today! Just letting you know before you get yelled at.”

Jyn looked back at the break room. She really hadn’t had enough coffee to deal with today yet. 

  
  
  


\--

  
  
  


Cassian let out a deep sigh of relief as he finally finished the last of his case notes and allowed himself to rest his head on the desk. 

A loud voice dragged him back to reality and he lifted his head to see the huge bulk of Kei-tu. “Cassian, I wanted to just inform you that if you care about our friendship, you should probably ask Jyn Erso on a date by the end of your shift today.”

He shook his head to try and clear his brain.

“Wait, what do you mean by that?”

“I mean that the nursing staff wished to know why I was so tired two days ago, so I was forced to inform them that I found you with your hand on Jyn Erso’s breast in the living room while she told you to ‘do it harder’ that night.”

Cassian slammed his face into the desk. 

“We were practicing examination skills for fellowship exams!”

“That’s not the point, Cassian. The point is that you have feelings for Jyn Erso that I suspect are reciprocated and that I stand to make $200 by the end of today’s shift if you are able to act on them.”

Someone started yelling from the front room. “Kei! Get here! Someone really wants to see the doctor!”

Kei yelled back. “If it’s the lady with the supposed broken ankle, tell her that two hours of waiting is nothing and that she can only talk when she’s been here for fifteen hours.”

The sounds of a scuffle echoed down the hallway and Baze the Buff RN started to take off at a run from the other side of the ward, pushing Kei out of the way.

“Out of the way, Little Brother!”

Kei walked back towards the waiting room, grumbling something about “lovelorn idiots” under his breath the whole way there. 

Cassian sighed, just as his pager went off again.

_ Goddamn admissions! _

He groped around on his table for his stethoscope with all the annoying little bobbles that Jyn had superglued onto it one night when they had been drunk and bored. 

_ Shit. Where was it. _

He patted his pockets. 

_ Where had he last seen it? _

Oh shit. Jyn had taken it for her last patient.

He looked down at the other side of the corridor where Baze the Buff RN was wrestling a man in an explicable thong and red body paint to the ground.

He called over to him. “Baze, Jyn has my stethoscope. Can I borrow yours?”

“Yeah, sure thing, Cassian! It’s on the table next to the hand sanitisers.”

His words were cut off by a loud grunt as the patient managed to pull Baze to the ground with him.

“Thanks so much Baze!”

“Repay me by asking Little Sister out, Cassian! And make sure you return that stethoscope!”

Cassian resisted the urge to slam his face into the wall very hard as he took off to go find his next admission. 

A few minutes later, he was stitching up a giant gash on someone’s forehead while trying very hard to not get blood on his clothing while he did so.

“So how did you get the cut?”

The patient shrugged and Cassian tried not to let the blood change his grip on the needle. 

“I fell out of a golf buggy and -”

His grip on the needle almost slipped again as See-Three barged into the room and shoved a badly written prescription under his nose. 

“Ah, Doctor Andor. Just who I wanted to see. I just wanted to know why this prescription looks as if it was written by a blind man.”

Cassian took a quick look at the signature before sighing.

A loud voice shouted from outside. There he was. Chirrut. 

“Because it was!”

The pharmacist shot a death glare at the door and dashed out, undoubtedly to harp on about the glories of computerised prescriptions at Chirrut (again). 

He turned back to the patient with an apologetic look on his face and kept going.

“Sorry about that.”

  
  
  


\--

  
  


 

Jyn had just come out of surgery on an idiot who had “oh, just braked the car while holding a knife, doctor, that’s how I stabbed myself”. The subsequent mountain of paperwork she’d had to file for that case didn’t help, especially when she shortly found herself in the middle of a cardiac arrest. 

“Not what I meant by ‘see you later’, Cassian!”

Cassian glared at her from where he was kneeling on the bed, starting chest compressions. She resisted the urge to ogle his very fine ass as he did it. 

Baze yelled over. “Maybe you meant to imply that you would appreciate being asked to dinner, Little Sister.”

“What the hell does that mean? Also, defib is charged and ready,” Jyn said. 

_ What the hell was going on here? _

Cassian almost fell off the bed. “Clear!”

Once he’d recovered his balance and was starting compressions again, he shouted, “Did Kei tell you as well?”

Baze shrugged very casually from where he was trying to attach ECG leads to someone’s chest. 

“Kei told the entire nurses’ quarters.”

The other nurses in the room nodded in agreement, an accusatory Greek chorus. 

Cassian almost fell off the bed again. “I’m going to kill him!”

_ What the hell were they talking about? _

The ECG machine chattered to life and she took a look at the printout.

_ Shit. _

But Jyn had her hands a little full. 

“Fuck! Cassian, I’m going to call cath lab. This guy’s in VTAC and he’s got a STEMI. Try not to break the Hippocratic in the meantime.”

As she sprinted out of the room, she could hear Melshi telling Cassian to ‘please wait another day before saying anything, brother’, followed sharply by a loud yell and the sound of cracking ribs.

_ Shit. _

  
  
  


\--

  
  
  


Cassian was filling out the last of the incident reports at the nurses’ station while trying to avoid the handwashing audit (what do you mean that you managed to break three of the patient’s ribs, Andor?) when a brightly coloured object suddenly came into his field of view. 

_ His stethoscope! _

He grabbed it, only to be met with a healthy amount of resistance. 

“Jyn, what’s going on, give me my stethoscope back.”

She pulled back on it. “Not until you tell me what’s going on!"

“I’m trying to fill out a patient’s case notes before some idiot consultant makes me handle their admissions again, Jyn. Give it back!”

“Why is everyone telling me to get dinner with you? We do that pretty much every night.”

Cassian forced his face to remain calm. “Jyn, maybe we shouldn’t talk about this out here. Can we talk about this later?”

She shrugged, her face disturbingly still. “My shift is over. Either tell me or you’re not getting your stethoscope back for three days, because I’m off duty for the next few days.”

Cassian took a deep breath, letting all the words come out in one big burst. “Kei told the entire nurses’ quarters that you were at our place helping me with physical exams the other day and now they’ve set up an entire betting pool about when I’ll ask you out so do you want to get coffee?”

Jyn’s brow furrowed. “The break room’s right there. And I’m not really in the mood for it. But if you wanted to get me one, I’d love you.”

A few heads perked up around them.

He took a deep breath. “No, I meant that we should get coffee somewhere else? As in, not the break room.”

“You can buy your own damn coffee, Cassian.”

“No, I meant together. Go get coffee together.”

She still looked confused. “You mean, you want to go get coffees for your ward? That’s a really nice move, Cassian.”

_ How the hell had she made it into medical school with an EQ like this? _

“No, I meant you and me, get a coffee together, no one else around and no betting pool.”

He could see the wheels turning in her head.

“Are you asking me on a date, Cassian Andor?” she almost shrieked before she threw her arms around Cassian’s neck, yelling ‘yes!’ loudly in his ear, her smile enormous. 

He had just managed to nod when Kei climbed up onto the table shouting “Pay up, everyone!”, followed by loud groans from almost every medical professional in the vicinity, all of whom started handing money over to the very smug triage nurse.

Cassian didn’t care. He wrapped his arm around Jyn’s waist as she smiled up at him, calling out, “Call an intern to cover my next shift! I’m going to be busy!”

He didn’t even bother to hide his smile as he walked out the hospital doors.

**Author's Note:**

> For the ever-lovely michelle, whose birthday I foolishly missed because I blocked everything on my laptop (this is being posted from the world's worst Ipad, tell me if there's any typos)
> 
> And the wonderful melanoradrood, who is having a shit day and needed something to make her feel better.


End file.
